When there's a discussion, whether heated or not, have you ever noticed that your brain (ego) is already preparing answers to what's being shared? When this occurs, we are not even present to the conversation. Often times, what's being shared is feelings and emotions that are difficult to voice, particularly when people are hurting.
We all deserve to be honored and given a space that is safe to share our deepest vulnerabilities without response, judgement and with compassion. This is called "Holding Space" which is an energetic way of being. You actually generate, from your heart space, love and allowing which creates an energetic frequency around you and out into the space of conversation.
Constructive conversation during disagreements involves acknowledgement such as "Thank you for sharing how you feel about that. I know you are hurting." Being a listening then occurs, which means no response, no knee jerk defensive behavior, no yelling, just listening to what is being shared. You then may take as long as you feel comfortable with how what was shared occurs for you. Request "I need to process what has been shared. Please give me a few days to be with this and I will be in communication."
This is not about defending what has been shared. This is about how a situation occurs for you. Holding space, honoring and acknowledging and being a listening will guarantee resolution with love and peace.
Love and Light,