Permission to Forgive Ourselves
Dwelling in guilt is like living your life with an anchor tied to your ankles dragging you down.
Learning to accept the things that we perceive as wrong can be a difficult task for many of us. Often we have been brought up to accept that it is normal to feel guilty about our actions and that by doing so we will make everything seem alright within ourselves. Even though we might feel that we have a reason to make up for the choices we have made, it is much more important for us to learn how to deal with them in a healthy and positive way, such as through forgiveness and understanding.
When we can look back at our past and really assess what has happened, we begin to realize that there are many dimensions to our actions. While feeling guilty might assuage our feelings at first, it is really only a short-term solution. It is all too ironic that being hard on ourselves is the easy way out. If we truly are able to gaze upon our lives through the lens of compassion, however, we will be able to see that there is much more to what we do and have done than we realize. Perhaps we were simply trying to protect ourselves or others and did the best we could at the time, or maybe we thought we had no other recourse and chose a solution in the heat of the moment. Once we can understand that dwelling in our negative feelings will only make us feel worse, we will come to recognize that it is really only through forgiving ourselves that we can transform our feelings and truly heal any resentment we have about our past.
Giving ourselves permission to feel at peace with our past actions is one of the most positive steps we can take toward living a life free from regrets, disappointments, and guilt. The more we are able to remind ourselves that the true path to a peaceful mind and heart is through acceptance of every part of our lives and actions, the more harmony and inner joy we will experience in all aspects of our lives.
Healing Light and Love,
Expressing ourselves honestly in any relationship is essential to our well-being.
When we are in a relationship where we feel listened to and understood, we count ourselves lucky because we know how rare that experience is. We reserve our most intimate selves for the people who, along with us, co-create an open space where we feel free to express ourselves and listen without judgment. These relationships, which thrive on open communication, can mean the difference between existential loneliness and a deep sense of belonging. We all long to feel heard, understood, and loved, and clear communication makes this possible.
Sometimes problems arise in the process of expressing how we feel, but it is always worth it to do the work. Even in our less intimate relationships, expressing ourselves honestly is essential to our sense of well-being. Whether at home with family or in the outside world, successful communication requires some forethought; otherwise we risk blundering through our relationships like the proverbial bull in a china shop. However, too much forethought can stifle us or cause us to pad our words so extremely that we end up saying nothing at all or confusing the matter further. The good news is that there are many methods that can come to our rescue, from meditation to visualization to journaling.
If the person we need to communicate with is open to sitting in meditation together for a set period of time before speaking, this can be invaluable. When we are calm and centered, we can count on ourselves to speak and respond truthfully. We can also meditate on our own time and then practice what we need to say. A visualization in which we sit with the person and lovingly exchange a few words can also be a great precedent to an actual conversation. If writing comes easily, we can write out what we need to say; it may take several drafts, but we will eventually find the words. The key is to find ways to center ourselves so that we communicate meaningfully, lovingly, and wisely. In this way, we honor our companions and create relationships in which there is a genuine sense of understanding and respect.
Light and Love,
Sometimes when we don't feel good enough, we create imbalance by overachieving or needing to be the best at something.
Overachievers are people who have achieved but still feel the need to do more, creating an imbalance in their lives. People who exhibit this behavior may be trying to compensate for feelings of insecurity and doubts about their worth. They may be chasing unresolved issues from their past into the present, or they might not be looking at their lives as a whole, but judging themselves based only on one aspect of their being. If this is a word that we’ve heard used with respect to our choices and lifestyle, it is worth examining in order to balance our lives for a more rewarding experience.
If we find that we cannot allow ourselves to experience and enjoy the present moment, putting pleasure off into some distant future, it may be a sign that we are being driven to achieve more than is truly necessary. Pushing ourselves beyond the point of exhaustion, or to the exclusion of important people in our lives, robs us of true and meaningful joy. Once we make the connection to the eternal part of us, it can nourish us and allow our priorities to shift from chasing after an elusive feeling to being fully present in the moment so that we can live our lives in the now.
Sometimes we need to look to those we love and admire in order to realize what we value about life. We can take time to note what we like about others, and then turn the mirror to reflect the light of those same words and feelings toward ourselves. It can be quite a revelation to see ourselves in this nourishing light. When we can put the energy that we’ve been devoting to a phantom sense of achievement into the truly satisfying aspects of our lives, we can restore tbalance between our inner and outer worlds and experience true joyful peace.
Healing Light and Love,
Here's a powerful exercise to take responsibility for all aspects of your life. YOU are the creator of it all.
1. Find ten minutes to be by yourself. Take three slow deep breaths and relax. Ponder the idea that you are the creator of your universe and that everything you are experiencing in your life you have brought to you. Write down all of your thoughts and emotions that arise when you try to accept this. Do not censor or omit any thought or feeling.
2. Look over the list and for any "negative" that arose, challenge that thought or belief or emotion. For example, when pondering that you have created everything in your life, you may have a thought that goes something like this:
"That's not true. I interact with other people and they do things to me that are out of my control. I am not creating that."
Now challenge that thought:
Every person has all sides to them. They can be loving and kind or mean and spiteful. I know it to be true that I can act differently depending on who I am with and how that person interacts with me. The same is therefore true about them. Is it possible that something in me is bringing out something in them that affects their behavior? Does that mean that I am co-creating in how people behave?
3. Examine the unconscious belief pattern that you hold that caused your initial thought to arise.
In the above example, it becomes clear that by thinking others are doing things to us, we are victims of life.
This is a limiting belief that was learned early on. In traditional psychotherapy we would spend lots of time exploring where that belief came from and understanding how it affects us. This is a very timely course of action and does not address the negative energy pattern of being a victim that is locked into your body. It will be brought to the surface and cleared through a Chios Energy Healing treatment.
4. Make a list of as many limiting beliefs you can discover about yourself.
Watch very carefully how you react to situations, the words you speak quite often to others and your negative self- chatter.
Here are some common limiting beliefs that people carry around. They may help you to uncover yours.
I'm not good enough
I'm not smart enough
I never do anything right
I am a victim
Life is hard
I don't deserve happiness
I deserve to be punished when I do something wrong
I need to be perfect in order to be loved
Know that this is untrue programming. Feel the emotion associated with this thought form, breathe deeply and release.
Healing Love and Light,
Here's a great way to jump-start the flow of appreciation and abundance in your life. If you do the following processes, I promise you'll see powerful results in your life right away.
Think of an important person in your life, and generate a list of 5-10 things you appreciate about that person. Write your appreciations down.
Do the same thing for a second person, and a third.
Generate a list of 5-10 things you appreciate about the world in general.
Generate a list of 5-10 things you appreciate about yourself.
Speak those appreciations to the relevant people. Call, write or visit them in person to deliver your appreciations. For your appreciations about yourself, look yourself in the mirror and speak them. For appreciations about the world, speak them to anyone you come across as you move through the world. In the checkout line recently I said to the clerk, "I really appreciate how much faster these scanning cash registers are. Must be a lot easier than punching in every price." She said, "I never thought about it before, but yes, I'm grateful for that, too."
That's all it takes. We change the world one communication at a time. These activities, done sincerely, open up a field of gratitude around you wherever you go. In that field of gratitude a garden of miracles will grow. …
Healing Light and Love,
Vibrational Frequency Practitioner, Life/Spiritual Advisor, Spiritual Teacher, CCMT ,former Radio Show host and Author Cat Baldwin shares her life experiences in "heart based" living..